The Most Powerful of the Human Senses
Apr 27th, 2007 by Michael
I have so many ideas racing (ha!) through my mind for items I want to blog about that I cannot get a full entry written. Oh well, I am sure I will get to it. Right, and I have a bridge to sell you too.
Anyway, I was walking through the hallway this afternoon when my beak picked up the odor of popcorn. There is nothing that cascades more harmfully through a cubicled environment than popcorn (except for methane, naturally). I chased the scent for a few rows until I located the source. I held back my inner desire to castigate her, as I suddenly wanted popcorn when I hadn’t 30 seconds earlier, but it did remind me of something that happened last week.
I got a call from one of my customers indicating that she needed my assistance. She is about as soft-spoken as they come. She is petite, a mother at least twice over, and barely older than I. She is the human form of Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother (except for the whole age thing, other than that it is a perfectly valid comparison, damn it). So, as a good employee I meander over there to solve whatever dilemma has befallen her. I round the corner into her cubicle and WAM! I encounter an immovable wall of perfume. It was not just any perfume however, it was Eau de Stripper (or its generically branded counterpart, Stripper Stank).
I could not take her seriously from that point forward. I was able to answer her question, but I was chuckling nervously under my breath like a 10 year old who pilfered the Sears catalogue from the mailbox. It blew my mind, because E-d-S is not available in regular stores. I honestly do not know where the women get it, but I have never found a comparable scent in any department or even bargain store. I am convinced there is some weathered ex-stripper based out of Topeka, KS who has a covert national network set up to distribute it.
Aromatically yours,
-Michael
