Parents Create Fat Kids, not McDonald’s
Americans, well, we are a sturdy lot. We are getting progressively more obese, or less euphemistically, fatter. Personally, I think that our waistlines are going to emulate those of our cars. The arrogant bunch that we are, we for a long time went after bigger and bigger cars. Well, the second gas went up in price we bitched and moaned about everything else and eventually have begun to migrate back to smaller cars. The same thing is going to happen with our girth. We will pin the blame on our work schedules, on the food industry, and then eventually start to live healthier. This will occur once people start dropping dead younger and the overall life expectancy threatens to trend downwards. Oh, those are already occurring? Ok, it might be a few years yet till we get our oversized arses into shape.
The media is currently warning us about how fat our kids are becoming. Childhood obesity is an “epidemic” of ever-increasing proportion (or would that be portion? Ha! I slay me.) Kids don’t play enough, they drink too many sweets, they have access to too much fast food, video games take too much of their attention, they are busy bullying other kids on Myspace, etc. Mainly it means our kids are fat. And good God they are. Have you seen some of these gigundous kids as of late? Holy crap. Lardo McThirdGrader looks like he is eating for two. His sister Molly looks like she swallowed her floaties during the ten minutes she attempted to swim until she got winded. These kids are trucks.
So, because they are children, the government feels it has to step in. It needs to design programmes and alter what they eat. Look at the following excerpt from a Yahoo.com article, and tell me what you think.
“For the study, changes were made to the food in vending machines or the cafeteria in five of the schools. Juice, water and low-fat milk replaced sodas. Snacks had to meet limits for fat, salt and sugar. Students who ate healthy snacks got raffle tickets to win prizes such as bikes and jump ropes. “We found when you give children healthy choices, they pick them,” said Grace McGinley, school nurse at Francis Hopkinson School, one of the test schools.”
This occurred in five schools outside Philly if I remember correctly. And, Grace, oh omnipotent nurse you, please explain to me how the kids picked healthily? You took away their choices and only gave them healthy choices. They had no unhealthy options to pick from! The school should not have to control what the kids cannot choose to do on their own. It is, in my opinion, a byproduct of the entitlement that we are bestowing upon our children. That is not my point today, though.
(As an aside - I know that calories alone are not a straight judge of bad for you beverages - but the Cherry Coke I am currently drinking is 100 calories per 8oz. The Tropicana OJ I would have drank all weekend if I weren’t so cheap and bought store-brand is 110 calories per 8oz. And oh yeah, that chocolate milk I had a strange craving for this morning? It was 190 calories for 8oz. Actually it was 190 calories per HALF-PINT, since evidently they are too good to list the oz total on the side.)
They also spoke to a study this morning on the radio where kids who had a TV in their room were more likely to be fat. I mean overweight. I wouldn’t want to offend any of those enormous kids. Seriously, was this really study-worthy material? You know what all this research tells me? Parents need to start parenting again. Stop making excuses. I am so tired of reading stories of McDonalds being blamed (and subsequently sued) ad infinitum for kids being fat. It is not McDonald’s fault that your kid could sumo wrestle with a St. Bernard. (And win) The fact is, you cannot parent. The next time I see a fat kid, I am going to wait until he is out of earshot and then start making fun of the parents for how repugnant their progeny is. Something scathing and caustic to get their attention should work, like “Hey. You. Your kid is a big fat (insert alliterative term here).” Since parents seem unable to take responsibility I think that is the only thing left to do.
Kids are like pack animals. They believe anything you tell them (see the movie “Jesus Camp”) and will trust you wholeheartedly. If you lead them astray, it is your own damn fault. I do not feel sorry for your heavyset child, unless he has an illness that prevents him from remaining moderately healthy. As I have said since day one, I am a firm believer in my “fat kid rule.” The rule is simple - if I have a kid and he gets too fat, he doesn’t eat. The parents have to take responsibility at some point. Like Yogi bear always said after he finished off his picnic basket, “Only You Can Prevent Fat Kids.”
Always willing to offer parenting advice,
-Michael