Open All Night

It is not often that I say this, but I am content to be complacent. However, this is only applicable when it comes to consumer goods. I get used to a phone; I do not need every new whiz-bang model that comes out. I have a Saturn sedan; I buy a new one. The same is true of my cotton products. While you are welcome to think about the cotton products that are surrounding my nether regions, that frankly does not make me comfortable, so I am going to stick to socks.

Many of my formative years were in the 80′s. I worked the tube socks, and had them up to my knees often. I worked the “slouch” socks, that you would push down and would create a wavy effect. However, as I approached college age, and worked at a golf course, I began to stock up on ankle socks. They are perfect for sneakers, and do not risk going out of style. I brought my supplies with me to college, however I quickly found that I ran out of socks before I was interested in doing laundry. I emptied the shelves of local grocers and stored packages of socks in bunkers for fear of the college laundry room gnome that might steal them. I reached my peak right around the turn of the century and probably had a good 30 pairs or so.

Over time, I lost a few here or there to old age. This was a perfect base to work from. As more continued to succumb, I would replenish the fleet with a bag of them every other year or so. I lost a handful during tennis season this year and performed my first actual count in years. If I recall correctly I surprisingly still had 21 pairs.

Then, 2009 hit with a vengeance. I am not sure the cause, but there has been an epidemic in my house. Sock after sock has perished, many of them in excessive sole blowout form. It has been 2-3 per week. There seems to be a pattern, with holes forming in roughly the same spot on the bottom of the foot. Since all of the socks are the same I have been pairing up the remaining guys, to ensure that an even number is maintained. I have even been putting some mildly wounded ones back in to the fray, to try and keep morale up. I have not identified a cause of yet, but I feel it has to do with the deteriorating carpet in my condo, plus spending more time in them while sitting at the computer and roaming the place grazing for food. I just cannot figure out why they are all going now, right around the same time, when they were purchased at many different times. I will be sure to provide an update if I figure out why it is occurring. For now I have to
return and rallye the 14 remaining pairs.

Dutifully studying wear patterns in the carpet,
-Michael