Open All Night

In a recent post, I addressed an Applebees experience. I recently had another one in which, on a Sunday night, the food took over 25 minutes to arrive. The funny thing was that the waitress said nothing until the food arrived. Normally a waitress would prep you that the food was taking awhile. But, in their defence, the manager comped the food without us even whining about it. It got me to thinking – I would often wait 25 minutes if it meant the meal would be free.

While I have food on the brain, I would like to mention the fact that Kelly Clarkson is on SNL right now. It is a repeat, and she hasn’t gotten any thinner than the last time it aired. Do not get me wrong, I think she is pretty. And I am ok with “moderately chunky” chicks. But, someone really needs to get in her ear. She is a star – she needs to at least pretend to dress for her body type. Good Lord, she looks like she is eating the Proactiv bottles. It is ok if fat chicks act like they are comfortable with their body (even if it makes others nauseous). It is ok if fat chicks aren’t comfortable with their body. But it isn’t ok for fat chicks that aren’t comfortable with their body to pretend like they are and grandstand that it doesn’t bother them. You aren’t fooling me Kelly. But I am available to console you if need be.

Back on track. Previously, Stephanie commented on how much she hates Applebees. In the meantime, I have conducted an informal poll. I don’t know what it is, but many women I know absolutely despise Applebees. I don’t know of a guy that dislikes it. So, without further ado, here are her reasons, with my responses after the dashes:

Reasons why I (Stephanie) lament Applebee’s:
*poor table service – I have to say, I have eaten there tens of times and rarely have had poor service. Now I can count on receiving poor service at Friday’s. (And, not that this gauges service, but I have never had a waitress with a neck tattoo at Applebees)
*food hardly ever comes out correct – nope, never had this either, and I usually ask them to change something
*food hardly ever looks like it does in the menu (I mean, like, completely unrecognizable) – really? I find that my food resembles the menu more so than at other places.
*watered down drinks – I can’t say that I have had this problem there, but boy do they gouge for booze.
*”free refills” if/when you can find your waitress – they usually bring the refills too quickly as far as I am concerned (I will drink it if they bring it), but again it costs a lot just for the soft drink. Although, nearly ever applebees is nice enough to make “cherry” pepsi for me by adding grenadine (even without me asking). That is the biggest knock against them, is that they have Pepsi. Ugh. “I would like a Coke.” “Is Pepsi ok?” “No, it isn’t.”
*charging Blue and Canadian as “import” – lush
*overcharging for fountain drinks ($3 for a soda? Heck, I can buy two two-liters for that) – crap, I covered this already. As I said in another blog, every place seems to do this now.
*one or two bartenders for the entire place, who are most likely yukking it up with wait staff while you anxiously tap your empty glass on the table – true, they usually only have one bartender plus the manager. But the bar is usually empty. When you sit at the bar I never have a problem getting their attention. Even at the table I rarely have to wait.
*almost everything is fried (even the salads) – Well, this is true. But there is the option for grilled; that is how I get mine. Although I wonder about the fried thing too, especially for the “healthy” wraps.
*burgers with tomatoes when you ask for “no tomatoes please” – I haven’t asked for this combo so I dunno.
*no fare that sets it apart from any other restaurant – but do any of the chains really have anything that sets them apart? I agree it is “safe”. But as soon as one gets something successful, the others get it too. Example, sliders. All the chains have some variant of them now.
*kitsch – really? It to me is just like any other chain – looks exactly the same.
*the overall look of annoyance from the hostess when you walk in the door. – I would just like to have a competent hostess there, preferably one over 18.

Here is my list, in preferential order, of some chain restaurants that I have eaten at a minimum of 3 times. These all serve “general” fare and are not specific to one nationality.

Applebees, Fridays (would be #1 if it weren’t for the service), Max N Erma’s, Cracker Barrel (just couldn’t eat there every day), Eat ‘N Shit ‘N Park, Bennigans, Pizzeria Uno, Ruby Tuesday, Denny’s, Friendly’s, Bob Evans

Yum yum, give me some,
-Michael