Open All Night

I had a great weekend. I spent a portion of it interacting with some of the great characters of Philadelphia. I spent another portion of it in the airport, which is also always good for stories. But I think I will focus primarily on dinner tonight, with one quick interlude first.

There was an art festival this weekend in one of the Philadelphia parks. It allowed me to partake in one of my favourite hobbies, which is really talking louder than I should be while espousing my views. Mind you, I think art is pretty useless – especially expensive art. I am not so closed-minded that I don’t get it; I just don’t choose to. Anyway, I was doing fine until I passed the local “Democratic National Party” sign-up booth at the fair. It was the ONLY non-art booth there. It was really more than I could do to hold back at that point, which led to much frivolity from me including gems I was proud of like “Does it come with complimentary health care if I join today?” That was the beginning of the end, and led to a nearly 30 minute running commentary, mainly on art in general. I have to admit I felt really refreshed after that!

And to the story at hand – I went back to the Japanese restaurant that has weekly specials on Sunday-Tues. It is over 40% off, which allows me to eat more than I really should. I went in there by myself tonight (again). Last time I manipulated the sushi menu until I reigned victorious. Tonight, it was me versus the hibachi grille. I told them I wanted hibachi and that I wanted to sit at a table. The waiter said to me “by yourself? (snicker) How about I sit you in here?” (pointing to the other room). I said to myself “How about you go get one of the guys in the goddamned hat that you make him wear? I want shrimp tails in my shirt, a sake volcano, and quite possibly singed eyebrows. Chop chop.” But I calmly relented once he assured me I could have hibachi in the other room.

That gave me the luxury of sitting next to the following table of college students, a letter next to each for future usage.
1 – trendy, obviously Americanised half-Asian female (A)
1 – caucausian boyfriend of hers (B)
2 – fully Asian, not completely Americanised females (C)
1 – fully Asian, fully Americanised female (D)
1 – midwestern caucasian girl (E)

I really couldn’t care less about the demographic here, except that it plays in to the story. Ms. Trendy dominated the table. It apparently was her idea to go for sushi, so she had to lead the charge.

A – Ok, here is what we are going to get – X,Y,Z rolls – I have had each of those before and they are good.
C – Really, what is in those, I haven’t heard of them.
A – I don’t know, they were good.
B – I think X has tuna in it, and Y…
A – Just look in the menu, it is there.
E – I always get a rainbow roll.
D – Why?
E – It is my “safe roll.”
D – What does that mean?
A – It means it has every type of fish on it.
D – I think we should get J,K,L. It will be a good mix, and will have this and this and this oit.
A – I suppose, but we really should add P and Q.

~~~~~they place their order~~~~~

C – whoknowswhatwassaidtheytalkwaytooquietly, yesbothofthemdo.
D – I was like supposed to clean today, but I didn’t get to it.
B – Ha, I was supposed to do laundry today, but I guess I will…
A – I have to do laundry tonight too. I don’t even have a full load to do, but I have to because I dirtied my one towel today.
E – knocks chopsticks on floor as she is the only one to get a salad
D – How did you do that?
A – I spilled my soy milk, and I just grabbed the closest thing, which happened to be my lone towel!*
C,D,E – Oh my God!!!
A – I know, right?
B – Leaves for bathroom

*it was at this point that I shifted the eating into overdrive so I could leave quicker without punching her in the face. Honestly, anyone who utters that sentence deserves to be punched.

~~~~~food comes~~~~~~

A – (Despite knowing it all) So what is that?
C – That is such and such around the outside…
D – And, then it is blah blah on the inside
A – Wow, looks great!

I am happy the food was good, because I do not think I could have tolerated the conversation otherwise. Humbly reporting for you,
-Michael