A New Year, Same Persona

I do not fully understand why people always make changes effective January 1st. Ok, I do understand, but it does not make me any the more complicit in their inane pursuits. The examples are everywhere in the workplace. The refrigerator is full of people’s lunches. The new apparel is donned. Overheard conversation center on the new gym regimen. The men are sporting their holiday beards. The last one is not relevant, but why did so many guys go away for break and come back with a full on NHL playoff beard?

Well just because it is January does not mean I am ready for change. So while I am thinking of a normal novel-length entry to bore you with I shall rely on some quick hits in the interim.

- Why does my bottle of water have nutritional information on it? It isn’t flavoured, so there is obviously no sugar on it. Of course it has no nutritional value. And yes, it is NO part of my 2000 calorie daily diet. Also, I bought it at a gas station. The bottle has their logo on it. I really hope they covered a real brand and aren’t just bottling toilet water. Does it really earn them more money in the long run doing this? Can’t they just stock the El Cheapo brand like 7-11 does?

- I was stuck in traffic yesterday when I ended up next to a Prius. It had some obnoxious personalised license plate like “SIP GAS”. I had heard about places where the eco-friendly have really gone overboard and are arrogant about it, but this was truly my first run-in with it. I did my best to ensure that he couldn’t change lanes, but he wasn’t looking to anyway. Hybrids are just another one on the list of vehicles that I reserve the right to drive differently for. I generally try to give some more room to seniors. People with stupid bumper stickers, especially with heavy politicial affiliation? Good luck merging. Texting while driving? Not using a turn signal? Yes that is my fender blocking your progress. Hot girl using turn signal? Please, go ahead. Hot girl who thinks she can merge just because she is hot and got some schmoe to buy her that SUV? I think not. Driving a Camaro? You are always welcome to merge. Try to pass on the right
all the way until the lane ends even though everyone else has been stuck waiting in the proper (left) lane? There is no way in hell I am going to let you in. And if you think for a second that you will win at chicken and I will let you in at the last possible moment, please try again. Remember, I own two clunkers. I will gladly suffer some damage to the side of my beater just to prove a point to you. After all, I have AAA to tow me home, and another clunker in the garage to do it again tomorrow with.

- Speaking of driving, I really enjoy driving in wintry conditions with my big heavy ski gloves on. Even once my hands warm up (the original reason for wearing them), I like to wear them. I am not truly sure why. I would like to say it is because it makes me feel like I am wearing my racing gloves, especially useful when I am sliding around in the snow, but I like to think even I am not that neurotic.
Oh, who am I kidding.

Welcoming you into 2009,
-Michael

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Brown Cow – Moo

My dad enjoyed entertaining youngsters by using “nonsense” expressions. One of them was “brown cow – moo!” I imagine it was a derivative of some sort, originating from the “how now brown cow” phrase that is used in elocution teaching (if I believe what Wikipedia tells me). Regardless, I cannot help but think of him as I shake my head while looking at this monstrosity of an outfit I put together today.

As I look down I notice that I am wearing what appears to be 5 separate shades of brown. It is not the first time I have faced this dilemma. It appears to occur every time a certain shirt comes up in the cycle to be worn. It is just above the “sunshine yellow” shirt from Express that is fancy but also see through and does not allow me to wear a racing t-shirt underneath like normal. Anyway, this brown shirt is a nice soft material. I tried to see what material it is, but I can’t crane my neck that far and I am not exactly about to take my shirt off to find out. It is brown, but not as brown as when it was brand new. Many washings have started to take its toll. I usually couple it with a pair of light khakis. No harm no foul, except the fact that the khakis really have seen better days. Besides fraying at the pockets and cuffs, it has shrunk and constantly pulls up exposing my ankles when my old socks that are sans elastic fall down. I have
vowed not to wear them again, at least not until I am out of clean clothes, especially now that it is cold and I despise the “ankle-breeze.” That leaves me with my two pair of “brown” pants (both between khaki and brown) and a pair of green. I hate the green. I can never figure out a shirt that matches. It seemed like a great idea when I got them, but then I never wear them. You think I would have learned from the last pair that I threw out, for the very reason that they never got worn. Thus, the light brown got the nod.

They are fine pants themselves, but are basically the same colour as the faded brown shirt. But they are not close enough, in my opinion. Throw in my belt (kind of a reddish brown), my socks (they are the dark brown my shirt used to be), and my shoes (used to be brown akin to my belt, but now are the colour “scuffed”) and I just look like a freakin’ fudgesicle. The Italian brown hair and eyes are not helping. All in all, I try to tell myself that I do not really care. It bugs me during the day, and then I still put on the same outfit weeks later. I think I am just dwelling on it today because fudgesicles were on sale at the store this week and I did not buy any. What the hell was I thinking?

Burnt sienna and proud,
-Michael

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2008 Season Comes to a Close for Half-Baked Schemes Racing

It seemed like the season had barely begun, but the 2nd week of October indicated that the offseason was upon us. This was the second Super Dirt Week that we had participated in. SDW last year was aggressive, with three races in three days. This year was a bit more tame, with only two on the docket. Much like last year, it was Brewerton Speedway on Thursday night, and Cayuga County Fair Speedway on Friday night.
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The Official Weigh-In

I am getting ready to go on vacation in a month, yes one that does not involve racing, and my body is not really ready for it. I am sporting the prototypical farmer’s tan, although it is not as wicked as normal because I have not been autocrossing. I can still bring down a low-flying plane if I take my shirt off, however. But, that is not so much what I am referring to. I am instead referring to the flabtacular region that is known as my midriff.
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